Ruby to the rescue

moving!

2007-01-01T18:12:00.000-08:00

Okee dokee...

New blog is located here

Check your email for a password. Please please please let me know if you have any problems. My mom was able to get in right away, so you should too. ((mom's not the most web savvy ;) ))

My plan is to gradually move everything over and take down all of the archives here. So if you want to keep reading you'd better email me soon. :)

Happy New Year!

2006-12-31T20:55:00.000-08:00

As I sit nursing sweet Ruby to sleep, I can't help but reflect on what a GOOD. YEAR. we've had. All told, 2006 was pretty much the BEST. YEAR. EVER. I'd love to regale you with my thoughts, memories and heartfelt words, but... with the new year, comes change. Yes folks, we're moving. I've set up the new blog, and should start emailing out the new info soon. If you don't get an email from me, and want to keep reading, email me at knittingzen@gmail.com.

In the meantime, I hope your celebrations are safe, and the new year filled with hope, peace, love and the realization of your dreams, whatever they may be.

PS. I'm going to attempt Project 365 and post a picture a day, although it may not always be Ruby.

2006-12-29T21:50:00.001-08:00

So... I haven't posted in a week. SOMEBODY (not naming any names or pointing any fingers) refuses to go to sleep before 11PM. So I'm trying to put these up before we head out for the weekend to my parents house for the Mout Family Christmas Bonanza. It's not easy when she's shouting at me... but here you go.
The other outfit by Aunt Mary. OMG she looks so chunkalicious in this!

Showing Santa how to get around the globe.
Opening presents with Daddy and Mama at Grandmas house (can you see she gets her good looks from her Dad - cause I look like poo in that pix!)

More present opening. Lots (well only a few, which is what we asked) wooden toys. :D Great stuff!

Ok i'll try to post one more time this year.. but no promises!

2006-12-29T21:50:00.000-08:00

Christmas outfit

2006-12-21T16:05:00.000-08:00

Aunt Mary made Ruby a sweet red outfit for Christmas.

Complete with sweet little hand knit baby legs.

Seriously. Can she be any cuter?

Six months

2006-12-20T11:23:00.000-08:00

Dear Ruby,

Today you are six months old. You have been in my arms for 6 months. You've lived in my heart for a lot longer than that, but as of 1:46 this afternoon, you've been earth-side for 6 months. It simultaneously feels like you've been here forever, and that you've only been here for 5 minutes. You've changed our lives in so many ways in the past half year, and i can't wait to see what will change next.

This month you've learned so much. You've started to blow raspberries, and it's quite possibly the funniest thing EVER. You seem to amuse yourself just as much as you amuse everyone else in the room. Some nights while you're trying (not) to fall asleep you'll blow them in the dark, and it's so very hard not to laugh at you. You are JUST. SO. FUNNY. You've started to full on belly laugh now, and you've also developed a sweet little giggle when daddy snurgles on the back of your neck. Oh god, it's to die for.

You just recently developed the ability to entertain yourself for short periods of time. You've perfected sitting up on your own and with a few pillows (or the boppy) around you, you'll sit and play with your toys for 20-30 minutes all by yourself. We sit back and watch you, amazed at your independence and inquisitive nature. You are a wonder to behold.

You've found your feet and think they are quite interesting. It's good because it keeps you occupied during diaper changes, and you're less likely to try and roll away. You love rolling over. and over. and over.
If you could crawl, You would be all over it! When you see your toys just out of reach you have this look in your eye like "oh man, if I could just get over THERE"... but you're not there yet. You seem content to focus on mastering hand control and squeals and laughter, crawling will come later.

You have been acting like you are about to get teeth for quite some time, yet have nothing to show for it yet. Your gums don't even look like they are about to change... this is fine with me, as sometimes you bite down when nursing that's not too fun for me. Thankfully, you're not much of a biter, just when you're overly tired, or fighting sleep.

You're still a pretty good sleeper. You're not sleeping "through the night" but once you go to bed, you only wake to eat, and not to play. And since you sleep with us all night, I hardly wake up to feed you. (yeah for breast-feeding and co-sleeping!) You've recently changed the time you like to go to sleep from 7-8 to 10 PM, but since you still get a full nights sleep, we're not going to fight you on that one. At least this way you get to play with daddy a little more at night when he works late.

You're just about ready for solid food. you can sit on your own and can grab things with your thumb and forefinger. You've started watching us eat intently and occasionally shouting at us during meals as if to say 'hey, I wanna try that!' I think we'll ask santa to put a little avocado or sweet potato in your stocking, so that after the holidays you can try something besides breast milk. I can't wait to see your face when you try different things!

You've also just started to notice animals. Mik and Oscar (those are the two black cats that run our house) aren't sure about you, but they occasionally let you pet them... and when you do, you think it's THE. FUNNIEST. THING. EVER. I'm not sure what you make of those furry guys, but you sure love the way they feel. we are in Michigan visiting Grandma right now, and last night you met Leo her puppy. OH. MY. GOD. you were so amused by him. Sorry to say, but mama is allergic to dogs, so we won't be getting one any time soon. (and besides, we can hardly keep house with you and two cats!)

You are truly an amazing creature. Watching you learn and grow is the most precious thing I've ever witnessed. I love you so very much, and yet I love you more each day. Every day I am thankful that you chose us as your family, and that we didn't give up on you. I knew in my heart that you were out there somewhere, (although I admit there were times that I was less than faithful and quite impatient) and I'm so glad you're here. Thank you for coming into our lives and for showing us our true capacity for love. You are proof that god exists, and that she wants us to be happy. You are truly the best thing I've ever done, my proudest moment, and my greatest challenge. Thank you for making my life complete.

All my love, Mama

House of sick

2006-12-17T19:25:00.000-08:00

Sorry we've been gone.. We took a little vacation to the house of sick. By vacation, I mean, we've all been sick. By sick I mean, every nature of sick has been in this house this week. Barfing, snotty noses, coughing. Good times, I tell ya, good times. So not many pictures have been taken this week. However, I do have a sweet video of Ruby under the christmas tree. You want to see it? no? ok then. Maybe next time.

Ruby blows raspberries

2006-12-12T22:13:00.001-08:00

It's short, but worth it. (just like me)

sigh. can't seem to get it to work... you'll have to go toyou tube

2006-12-10T23:36:00.000-08:00

In the wee small hours of the morning, while I was rocking Ruby back to sleep after a rare late night waking I found myself thinking about Kati Kim and her family. Kati and James Kim and their two daughters (one not much older than Ruby) were traveling through Oregon after Thanksgiving, and were lost, stranded in their car in the snow for nine days. They rationed what they had, burned tires for warmth and did all they could to stay alive and stay together. After seven days, James went to look for help, and Kati and the girls stayed in the car. Kati and her daughters were rescued. James' body was found two days later. Kati kept her daughters (4 years old and 7 months) alive by breastfeeding them. This story has broken the hearts of many Oregonians, and it's weighed heavy on my mind.

So as I rocked and sung to my sweet baby at 5 am on sunday morning, I thought of this family. As tired as I was, I was still in my warm house, with plenty to eat, and my husband was safe and alive sleeping (or trying to) in the bed next to me. My baby was warm, safe and her biggest concern was trying to fall back to sleep. Everything I hold dear was in it's place. Everyone I love more than life itself was safe. I have no reason to complain.

I just kept imagining this woman sitting in her car, trapped in the snow, watching the man she loves walk away. And the hours, upon hours waiting for his return, alone in the car, in the snow with her two babies. And I wept. I kissed Ruby and tears dropped on her sleeping face. I thanked the universe that my family is safe. And I prayed that in his last moments, James Kim somehow knew that his wife and daughters would be safe. That where ever he is now, he knows that his family made it home alive. Because I just can't bear to think otherwise.

May his soul rest in peace, and may his family find healing as time passes. Please hold your loved ones close tonight, and say a prayer (if you're the praying type) for this family.

I won't leave you with complete sadness, here's the fam at my work holiday party. Ruby came as Santa Clause.

sleep? what's that?

2006-12-08T22:19:00.000-08:00

Somebody found their feet this week. Somebody also has developed the innate ability not to fall asleep until much later than a baby should. MUUUUUUUCH later.

But can you blame her? how can you sleep when you are THIS cute?How can you sleep when you have THIS MUCH cute to share with the world!

Ruby and the cats...

2006-12-03T22:19:00.000-08:00

Well Hi. Who are you?

Who is this guy mom? He's kinda furry!

Ooooh he's so soft! I love him!

Oh, I don't think he likes me...

Wait! Where are you going! We're just getting to know each other! I can be gentle! I won't pull I promise!

Aw. Crap. Now who am I going to play with?

Daddy!

back to sporadic posting....

2006-12-02T17:28:00.000-08:00

I'm trying to do everyday, I am.... really! but its hard when you have a cute sweet baby distracting you from the computer!

Ruby and I just spent a few days last week at Nana and Grandpa's house.
She loves her grandpa!

She's started to stick her butt up - like a downward dog yoga pose - she really really wants to crawl. It's hilarious. She also found her consonants last night! all of a sudden, instead of saying aaaaoooaaaaa, she was saying aaadaaa aaaadaaaa. It's pretty darn cute I tell ya. You'd think that all of these physical and developmental changes would make a girl sleepy. Not my Ruby. No... she regularly stays up until 11 pm or later, and still wakes up at 8:30 (with short or minimal naps). I'm looking forward to the 7pm-7am schedule, with the 2 long naps a day (( I'm fooling myself, aren't I - hey but a girl can dream!)).

Here is just a preview of a cute set of pix we just took. I can't tell you what they are for until after christmas.... but eventually you'll see them all. Prepare yourself... they are to die for!

She just gets smarter everyday.

2006-11-29T10:18:00.000-08:00

9:46 PM

2006-11-27T21:46:00.000-08:00

Somebody is making teeth.

Google, why have you forsaken me?

2006-11-26T22:59:00.000-08:00

For those who have asked where the ads went, well google doesn't like me, so they yanked the ads. :( Sadly we also didn't recieve ant revenue from those weeks, although it had the potential to be a lot. I'm hoping to find anothe way to help this family. Let me know if you have any ideas!

ps, like the new layout?

Christmas!

2006-11-26T21:07:00.000-08:00

And so it begins...

Who is this santa fellow?

Jingle, Jangle and the littlest elf

CUTEST. ELF. EVER.

Seriously mama, enough with the camera.

Hey! we found a naked baby under our tree!!

You know, mama, I think I'm gonna like this "Christmas" thing after all.

Note to all those reading, yes the tree is fake. After a teary trip to the tree farm a few years ago, I insisted on a fake tree. Yeah, I'm a freak. Anyway, the tree is up, and Christmas music is in the cd player. (I may tire of it though)... and yes, I cried.

You see, each of our ornaments tells a story, from a place we've been or somone we know. As Ryan and I decorate each year, we reminisce about where we bought them, or who they remind us of. I picked up one ornament from our honemoon, and asked Ryan if he knew when we bought it. He didn't, without looking at the back.
I said, "you know you're going to have to remember, because someday Ruby will be decorating the tree with you and will say, 'Daddy? Daddy tell me where this one came from' "
Actually, I started crying after the first 'Daddy'. I am such a sap!

Thanksgiving

2006-11-25T20:59:00.000-08:00

I have so many things to be thankful for this year. So many things. But since we just got home tonight from a three day trip to Seattle to visit my family, and I'm exhausted and miss my bed... I'll be short. :D Thanksgiving dinner was delicious, as was desert (awesome Pie Kailie!) and we had fun traipsing around the Seattle area. Ruby loves seeing family and had fun riding the monorail, and seeing Pike Place Market. She pretty much rocked Seattle senseless.
I'm thankful for the amazing man I'm married to. He's always been my biggest fan and my greatest champion. Throughout all of our challenges as a couple he's been strong and honest. And he's cute too. I am so thankful we chose eachother to spend our lives together.

More than anything I am thankful for my sweet baby girl. I love her so much more than words could ever do justice. I almost can't stand to let other people hold her for too long, as I begin to miss the feel of her weight in my arms, and the heave of her chest. I find myself a little crazed if I can't see her sweet face, or hear her squeal. (I'm nice though, and let my family hold her. I'm not one of those mean mamas who hoards her baby, even though I want to. hahaha) She is the perfect addition to our little family. She is just as weird and wacky as her dad and I, and has a brilliant sense of humor. She knows just how to make someone feel like they are THE. MOST. IMPORTANT. PERSON. EVER.
For the first time in a long time, I'm excited for the holidays. I love Christmas, and the winter holidays. I love giving, and the cheer and all the trimmings. However, it's a hard holiday when you are suffering through infertility. It's hard to find the childlike joy when you are missing a child whom you've never met. This year, whoa boy, this year, is going to be different. Usually I'm the person who hangs the lights late, and puts the tree up at the last minute. (yes there have been years when it went up a day or two before christmas). I usually abhor those who decorate early and leave things up late. Honestly, HONESTLY, I would have put up my christmas lights in september this year if Ryan would have gone for it. (for the record we're hoping for tomorrow! - although we have to take the haloween lights down first - yes, we put up halloween lights, you wanna make something of it?) There is something so pure and so exciting about christmas with a child. And this child is MY! CHILD! What is more exciting than that I tell you? I CAN. NOT. WAIT. to see her face when she looks at the tree. Anyway, I digress.
Thankful. I am so thankful she finally decided to join our family. I am so thankful we got lucky with our first IVF and also got lucky and have a living child in our home. My heart aches for those that aren't as lucky. I am so thankful that she is a happy, easy baby. I am just so thankful.
I love her so much, I almost can't stand it. And yet, I love her more each day.

Ruby at the table - hmmmm this "food" looks tasty
however, I'll stick with my catarpillar.mmmmmm catarpilar!

Thank you.

2006-11-23T09:03:00.000-08:00

Just a quick note before we head to Seattle for turkey day...

1. I'm amazed at the number of people who have emailed (already less than 12 hours after posting!) and asked to be in the loop. I'm glad we are so loved out there. I'll get to all of you... but probably not until the end of the weekend. :D don't worry we're not going private for a week or so I think. Eventually I'm going to change to a different address all together, but I haven't even begun to put that together, so it will be a while.

2. I've received a few emails that not only surprised me, but touched me. I am so happy to know my words have helped educate others about the pain of infertility. Thanks for being willing to learn. (I'll email you too. be patient).

3. We aren't going private because we're being stalked, or because of any creepies (as my friend Jen put it)... I just feel the need to know who is reading (again, some surprises out there!) and to protect my child from anything that MAY be out there. Just let me know who you are, and most likely, you'll be on the list.

Again, thanks for all the love and support. It's good to feel loved.

Enjoy your turkey, and remember the truth about this holiday. Be thankful for all you have, and all you believe in.

Now I've got diapers to fold, a salad to make and a sweet baby to take to visit famiy. Peace!

2006-11-22T20:13:00.000-08:00

Well folks... we're gonna take this blog private soon....
i'm going to try out the new blogger and if it's too much of a pain, will move to a new server all together....
so.... email me at knittingzen at gmail dot com if you want in. If I don't know you, please include how you ended up at my blog.

Thanksgiving will be at my sister's house... so I'll try to post from there. :)

2006-11-21T20:02:00.000-08:00

Ruby Tuesday is an activist... or a Lactivist, I should say....

Today, we participated in a Nurse in at the portland airport. Yep, you heard it right folks, a nurse in. About 40 mothers gathered at the portland airport (and many airports across the country) to bring attention to the plight of Emily Gillette who was kicked off a plane for breastfeeding her child. Yes, you heard it right folks, a woman was removed from a plane for feeding her child. (http://reluctantlactivist.blogspot.com/ Read here for more info on the travesty of it all!) It was Ruby's first protest, and my first in a long time (or at least it feels like it's been a long time!)

We all gathered in front of the Delta ticket counter ( freedom air is a subsidiary of Delta) and peacfully nursed our babes, and made our point. Breastfeeding is not offensive, or disgusting... It's lunch people. LUNCH (and breakfast, and second breakfast.....etc). Babies eat. Most of them should eat from the breast ( in a perfect world, they all would, but it's not a perfect world is it?). Breasts are for babies! haven't we covered this already?

All the local news stations were there.... and we were on TV! well.. my shirt and the back of Ruby's head were on TV... along with many women I know speaking out for the cause. (http://www.katu.com/news/4711201.html I'm in the brown shirt with snaps right before a woman in a blue sleeved shirt talks. ) I didn't get a chance to watch the other local stations, but apparently we were on there too!
((sorry about the crappy quality of the photos - they were taken on my camera phone!))

As my mom says.... I was brought up right. We learned to protest early, and to stand up for what we believed in. Ruby will be brought up right also. (well really really really left, but you know what I mean)

2006-11-20T20:14:00.000-08:00

Dear Ruby,
Today you are five months old. FIVE MONTHS. For five months you've been living in our house and in our hearts. Wow, what a ride it's been.

This month you've mastered rolling over. You love to roll. You roll when we're changing your diaper, andyou try to roll when you're nursingin bed (oh yeah, I love that one). You get such joy out of getting to your tummy, yet most of the time, when you get there you get irritated and can't figure out how to roll back to your back. Once you get the whole process down, I'm sure you'll be rolling rolling rolling. It's pretty cute. But then again, everything you do is cute.

Your newest thing is needing to be with someone all the time. A month ago, we could change you into pjs, read you a story and then you'd nurse to sleep, only waking up once before I came up to bed. We were able to have a couple of hours of free time each night. Now.... that's not so much the case. You still change into pjs, read a book and nurse to sleep... but I can't seem to get away after that. You wake up every 10 minutes or so and cry out to have someone near you. So.... change of plans, after you're asleep, i go downstairs for as long as I can (usually enough to eat dinner if I haven't already) and then when you call me up, I am in bed with you for the night. At first I thought I'd be bored... but thanks to the magic of wireless internet, a dvd player on my laptop, ABC.com (for greys anatomy of course) and headphones, I'm getting by. I do miss spending time with your dad, but he's still gonna be there in a few weeks when this stage is over (or a few months, what ever you need). He's been there for 10 years, so I dont' think a few weeks/months of not hanging out everynight will kill us. Besides, sometimes he comes up and we watch a movie together on the computer. That's kind of fun. My back aches from sitting in bed for a couple of hours at a time, but it's worth it knowing that when you wake up, you know you're not alone and that I'm here to comfort you and keep you safe. I love when you startle awake, and you look up and see I'm still there, then you just gently drift off to sleep. That contented look on your face makes all of the hard parts easier. It doesn't make my back stop hurting, but it's good medicine.

Your squeal and giggle are becoming more pronounced. You love going for a carwash (where I tickle your face with hair) and a blow dry (when we blow air in your face) and you love playing "love love love, STRETCH! tickle tickle tickle" (I'm trying to get this on video, but it's hard to do when you only have two hands). You get laughing sometimes and it just slays me. You are truly a really happy baby. You smile at just about anyone who you meet, if they smile at you, and you're rarely cranky for no reason. ((Yes, I know how lucky I am)).

You are still a pretty good sleeper at night. You wake up every two hours (occasionally every three) to nurse, but you rarely wake up and need more than that. You go right back to sleep after getting your tum filled, and we all rest relatively peacefully. ((yes, i know how lucky I am)).

You are getting to be pretty good at sitting up on your own, and love doing it! You love sitting in your highchair while we cook dinner or clean the dishes, and like to tell us how to do whatever we're doing. You're quite the chatterbox. It's pretty funny, but then again, I think everything you do is pretty funny.

I can honestly say, that you have changed my life in more ways then I could ever imagine. You've made me happier than I'd ever thought possible, and my heart is full. You are the best medicine, and have helped heal so many old and deep wounds. You are truly an amazing human being. Thank you for coming into my life, and for being my little girl.

All my love, Mama

2006-11-19T20:45:00.000-08:00

Sunday Ruby gets a new toy.

Today I went and bought a new bath for Ruby... She loves sitting up, and the bath sling just wasn't cutting it... and she's way too slippery to sit up without some structure. O MY GOD. It was the most brilliant thing I've ever bought. I am a fabulous, fantastic and perfect mother. Ok.. well maybe not, but I sure can shop. I also bought some bath toys. Again, brilliant.

OOOOOOh new stuff!

Hey, it's my whole name!!

Water on your face is FUNNY!

This bath brought to you by the number zero

and the letter Zzzzzzzz

2006-11-18T20:53:00.000-08:00

Saturday is a day for family.....
Taken just before bed, as we all snuggle in.

Silly silly daddy!

Rainbow baby legs are the BEST!!

2006-11-17T20:35:00.000-08:00

Friday Ruby has a PARTY!!!! (which means a lot of pictures for you!)

Ruby has had a busy few days!
We had a get together with some crafty types, and Ruby was given this gorgeous poncho.

We also had playgroup!
Here is Ruby with Tania, a 7 year old who is super smart, super sweet and very helpful with babies.

Here she is wth Tania's little sister, Talula. She was born tw days after Ruby, but is growing a little faster.
Sigh, Talula thinks Ruby is soooo childish.
Oh, for crying out loud! can you be any happier little girl, ugh. I mean, seriously.

Greyson was also there. Hes such a sweet little man.

So sweet Ruby tried to eat him.

We had others over as well, but we of course forgot to get pix with them. Eventually Grey, Brigit and Ruby will get a pix together, as they are all infertility babies!

All that partying is exhausting. time for a book with Dad and some sleeps.

Back when Ruby was still on the inside we listened to her heartbeat every night with a special stethoscope.
Dad still likes to check everyonce in a while. it's his favorite sound next to this....

2006-11-16T20:20:00.000-08:00

Thursday Ruby is sweet as candy

Living through infertility is hell. There are days where you feel so empty, so alone. The lyrics to Simon and Garfunkel's song, America - "I'm empty and aching and I don't know why" are perfect at describing the feeling of desolation. It's like missing someone you've never met, crying for love lost that you never had. It's quite unbearable, and yet you have to pretend all day everyday that you're fine, because you don't look sick, and your life seems ok. But inside, you're dying.

And then one day, if you're really lucky, things change, and you become a parent. You expect to feel happy, whole and complete, you think the pain of infertility is behind you and it won't come back. But it doesn't happen all at once. It comes in waves. There are days that you look at the little person that's entered your life and you are shocked that they are even there. You get a squeal of delight when you make her laugh and feel the hole in your heart close up a little bit. You enter a room and see her little face light up like you are THE ONLY PERSON in the universe, and your soul sings a little tune. One night, while nursing her to sleep, she unlatches, looks up and you and sighs. Then ever so gently she snuggles in and drifts to sleep, while looking at you with complete satisfaction and joy. And, you think, "ah yes, she was soooo worth waiting for."

2006-11-15T19:35:00.000-08:00

Hump day.... loooong day!
quick post tonight... had a long day and am pooped, but I'm a woman of my word.... so here are some pictures!

yes folks, she's still worth the wait!!!

um, dude, did she get her dad's giant head or what?

2006-11-14T21:21:00.000-08:00

Ruby Tuesday smells like flowers.
My mom (Nana) made these seriously cute creepers. I almost can't stand it. They are sooooooo cute.

Ru likes them too.

2006-11-13T21:17:00.000-08:00

Monday Ruby gets the train on time......

Not really but she did get a highchair!! She's not even remotely ready for solid foods, but she loves to sit up, and this way we can eat dinner at the table instead of on the floor. (maybe... we'll see if she tolerates it for long!)

She also wore a new outifit!! it was pretty cold and rainy so we put on a new knitted outfit from Aunt Mary. OH MY!!! Hat and sweater and booties, o my!!

Ryan will hate me for this one... but I just love it.

2006-11-12T18:08:00.000-08:00

oooooh. More Ruby! :D

Went to Multnomah falls today. :) Can she be any cuter in that poncho?

Just chillin, yo.

Oh, That's just DUCKY!

Wow, now I'm pooped. But not for you, not for you. Now get to work!

2006-11-11T20:10:00.000-08:00

True to my word.....

Here is your saturday dose of Ruby.

Yep that's the hat she wore right after she was born. (Barely fits that giant head now!)

2006-11-10T21:04:00.000-08:00

Let's make a deal....

I have a propsition for you, all of my brilliant, industrious readers.....

I have a dear friend who's family is having quite a tough time. She had a baby who was born 10 weeks early, and it has left their family saddled with debt. Then, shortly after having this baby, she found herself surprisingly pregnant again. Now, several months before this second baby is due, she's having to take a part time job to help make ends meet. The problem is that standing on her feet has caused her to have some contractions... and the last thing any of us want for her is another preemie baby. (Thankfully her first preemie is doing great! and is as cute as a button) So a bunch of us mama's who know her are doing all we can to help her family. She didn't ask for help, but she sure needs it, so here is my proposition..... I've installed google ads on the site, and all revenue generated between now and the end of the year (or maybe even longer) will be donated to this family, so that the mama can quit her crappy retail job and put her feet up to keep that baby inside.
So, you say... what will I do for you??

Since I know the ONLY reason you come here is to see pictures of Ruby...... I promise to post a picture a DAY of little miss Rubylicious. Do you understand what I'm promising you people???? A PICTURE A DAY. EVERYDAYOh yeah.... new Ruby cuteness EVERY DARN STINKIN DAY.

Come on.

For me.

And Ruby.

And Jackson (baby in utero)

2006-11-05T19:46:00.000-08:00

Back in business!
I bought a new computer! Wahooo!!! look for new fun excitement in the near future. However, right now I have some business to attend to.
Last week was National Infertility awareness week. Mel (http://stirrup-queens.blogspot.com/2006/09/history-of-infertilitys-common-thread.html) challenged all of us to post about infertility everyday. Well, I had plans to do that till I ruined my computer. So I give you this.... this end of the week, last minute post about a subject near and dear to my heart.... and my nether regions.

Many people reading this blog don't know what came before it. I started this blog about 9 weeks into my pregnancy. I have mentioned a few times what we went through to get here, but because this blog was mainly about the excitement of growing my little goon, I kept my deep thoughts about Infertility on my private blog. However.... it's time to speak up, and and educate a little.

First and foremost, infertility sucks. It sucks when you think you may be heading that direction, it sucks while you're going through it, it still sucks when you get pregnant because you have a much higher fear level than the average pregnant woman, you've read too much and know too many people who have had terrifying losses, it even still sucks after you have a baby, because family planning takes on a completely different meaning, you also have to figure out how you'll pay to make more babies, or if you've chosen to grow your family through adoption, you then have to navigate the world of assclowns who say whatever comes to their mind. Infertility sucks, don't ever let anyone tell you anything different. Even once you've triumphed over the evil giant that is infertility, you are still shellshocked and changed.

The basics of our story... we tried for a year to get pregnant on our own, however at 6 months I knew *KNEW* that something was wrong. I didn't know what, but I just knew that something was up. Thus began a difficult journey. Everyone we knew was having babies, babies they concieved without really trying. Seeing these babies, as wonderful as they are, was like putting your hand in a bucket of ice water; at first it just seemed a little cold, then it hurt to the point of numbness. Once we started seeing our RE (reproductive endocrinologist) we'd already had a battery of test run by our Naturopath - all the basic blood test, general semen analysis, and HSG (where they put dye in your uterus to see if your fallopian tubes are open - a mildly invasive and very uncomfortable proceedure). Dr. M (our RE) is a soft spoken, brilliant man with no bedside manner and little sense of humor. However, he's a leader in his field, and we love him. After our first meeting with him, we jumped head first into infertility treatment. It seems we alwasy assume it's the woman who has a problem. I felt like I was a failure as a woman, and that it was all my fault that we were going through this. Several cycles of clomid (a drug straight from the bowels of hell) and IUI (intrauterine insemination - listen people, don't call it artificial insemination...we already feel pretty far from 'natural' no need to make us feel more worthless, m'kay?) We had three cycles (four? I can't remember) of this, each ending in a bloody mess (ha. ha. ha.).
We began our first grieving process with our first IUI. No longer was our future child going to be concieved while making love at home.... now we would be concieving our child on a cold exam table with a doctor and a catheter. Ryan didn't even get to go to our first one, he was somewhere on an airplane, while Molly (my acupuncturist) held my hand as Dr. M inseminated me with Ryan's previously obtained sample. Yeah, that makes you feel human. Each cycle brought us a little deeper into sadness and loss. Every 28-30 days, no matter what we did..... blood, and the horrible effects of Clomid were enough to make me insane and want to live in a house made of ice (mood swings? hotflashes? good times, good times!). After our second (third? who remembers?) IUI, Dr. M noticed that the sperm sample seemed off. After our fourth IUI, more tests were ordered, and it was determined that we had male factor infertility.Apparently, for no reason what so ever, Ryan creates antibodies against his own sperm. In simple terms, his body is trying to destroy them. This doesn't bode well for people who want to make babies. In one day, we went from thinking that it was just going to take more time, and more IUIs to knowing that our chances of concieving without IVF (invitro fertilization) were less than 1%. We went from thinking that I couldn't get pregnant, to knowing that Ryan couldn't get me pregnant.
I left that appointment feeling like a weight was lifted off of me. I'm NOT BROKEN!!! Yippie!!! and then I felt a crushing.....but Ryan is. I didn't want him to feel broken. I didn't want him to even for a second to think that there was anything wrong with him. But I couln't control any of it, we'd already realized that we couldn't control anything, and now I had to realize that I couldn't control how Ryan felt. All I could do was support him and do my best to get knocked up fast. We did an additional 3 IUIs, while prepping for the IVF. Each month, we had little hope of success, and were still devastated when it failed. We found (ha!! we refi-ed the house)) the money to finance one IVF, and figured if it didn't work we'd find a way to try again. We spent an entire summer struggling to get our minds around what we were about to do. It was completely surreal, and at the same time felt like what we were supposed to do all along.

By this point, our landscape of friends had completely changed. We had found that many of our 'fertile' friends either didn't understand what we were going through or that we couldn't bear to be around them and their kids. Their kids were wonderful and perfect and all that, but we were still stuck in a world without. Just hearing about a birthday, or milestone was like a dagger through your heart. Who knew if we'd ever know what that was like? Luckily we met other people who were struggling to get pregnant, and found kindred spirits. We were not alone. Someone 'got' us. We weren't the ones left out in the crowd..... we had a tribe.

Finally we started our first IVF. If you've never gone through any infertility treatment, you have to understand that it's an exercise in humilation. You spend a lot of time with practical strangers ... in your bidness, if you know what I mean. You inject yourself with drugs into your abdomen, and go to daily vaginal ultrasounds. Mmmmm nothing like a 7 AM wake up call for a visit with the cooter cam. You also are subjected to endless blood tests to see what your hormones are doing. You are taking tons of drugs that make you feel like a bloated sac of eggs. Heck, you ARE a bloated sac of eggs (or so you HOPE you are a bloated sack of eggs). Finally, when it's deemed that you have successfully produced follicles on your ovaries, you schedule an egg retrieval, take a shot in the butt to release the eggs, and hope for the best.
Retrieval isn't fun. They knock you out (thank god!!) and extract eggs from your ovaries by putting a long thick needle through your vaginal wall. Then they send you home while they fertilize the eggs. Again, you hope for the best.
Everyday for the next several days, you sit, on pins and needles, wondering what's going on in your petrie dish of hope. You get a call from someone telling you how many are still growing. And again, you hope for the best.
Finally they determine that one or more of these potential little people is ready to be transfered to your uterus. More time in the stirrups, and finally you leave and.... yep, you guessed it, hope for the best.
All this time, all this hope. and you have no idea what will happen. two weeks later you take a blood test to determine if you're pregnant. And if you're not well then.... you start again.

We lucked out, and got pregnant on the first IVF, and 40 some odd weeks later we had a living baby. Infertility still sucks. It's forever changed some of our relationships. It's changed the way we look in the mirror and how we prioritise our lives. It's shaken us to the core and made us stronger and more resilient. It will always be there, and it will always suck. But it's part of who we are, and there is no changing that now.
So, next time you hear of someone having trouble getting pregnant, don't be an assclown and give advice. If you know someone who's been married a while, don't repeatedly ask them if they are going to ever have a baby, you never know what is happening. And if, god forbid, you have a friend going through infertility treatment, give them space to do what needs to be done, more than likely, when it's all said and done they will come back around. And if not, well be happy for them knowing that they have found a tribe.

Of course our story didn't just end with a living baby, but now we belong to the unwanted c-section tribe also.... but that my dear readers is a post for another day..... C-section awareness week is coming soon......

2006-10-31T21:37:00.000-08:00

Halloweeen!!!!!
(first a note - sorry it's been so long since we posted... there was sickness (a mild cold passed all around) and now my computer is dead - well i killed it by spilling water on the keyboard. Who'd a thunk that water would kill a laptop? so this is being posted from dads computer... and i'm not too good with his programs, so forgive any weirdness! I can't seem to get all the pix i need on here - so check back again in a day or so.:)

We went to the pumpkin patch a week or so ago.... Ruby slept through the whole thing.

Then we carved said pumpkins the other night. Ruby enjoyed this. (at least WE think she did)

Then, zombie dad tried to eat Ruby. Thankfully, she survived.

So you know we have two cats, right?
You've met Mik and Oscar
But have you met Spooky Cat?

She can stand on two feet!

Oh she loves cat food!

We actually have more Halloween pix, but they are on someone elses computer..... later this week we'll show you.
lastly.... new knitted love... how cute are these pants?

and of course.... just gotta love a kid this sweet!

2006-10-20T21:58:00.000-07:00

Dear Ruby,
Today you are four months old. I can't believe you've been here for four months, and at the same time, it seems like you've always been here. Funny how a baby can make time seem so different.
You are getting so strong! You love to hold your head up (most of the time - until you start screeching).

And today you rolled over from back to front! (with some coaching from Tyler). I have yet to get you rolling from tummy to back on video, but you've been doing it for a while.

You also LOVE talking. If someone talks back you can carry on a conversation for quite a while. You love chatting with things like the ceiling light, or other such objects. It's quite hilarious.

You have a new friend. Jerry Seinfeld. You like him a lot

You like him so much, you try to eat him, just like everything else you get your hands on.

You also have another new friend..... Greyson Lee! He was born 3 days ago and is as sweet as can be. Is it possible that only four months ago you were that tiny?

Here he is in his tiny perfection.... Sigh. Doncha just wanna snif him?

I can't believe you've been here for four months. You are so much fun! You make me laugh several times a day, and your smile melts me. The way you light up when your daddy comes in the room is enough to make my heart explode.

I love how LOVED you make me feel. After four months I think we are beginning to really see who you are going to be. As much as I love everyday with you, I also can't wait to see what you'll do next. You are the most amazing person I've ever met, and my proudest moment all rolled into one. I know I say this everymonth in your letter... but I am SO glad you're here.

All of my love, Mama

2006-10-15T22:30:00.000-07:00

Ruby met Auntie Kasi!

(finally) She had lots of fun showing her Auntie Kasi all the cool things she does... like... um.... smile, and poop.
And auntie Kasi wore her on a walk!

yes... She's THAT hungry.

This is what happens when a girl takes a looooooong bath.

This is Bubba. Ruby LOOOOOOOOVES bubba. (so does everyone else) Bubba was a gift from Aunti Katy and Uncle Kurt (aka Uncle shiny head). Bubba Ribbits 'Old MacDonald Had a Farm'. It's HILAROUS.

Next time... Four Month old! ... then we'll show you her halloween costume. Seriously!

2006-10-10T19:55:00.000-07:00

Oh, I've been a bad bad blogger. Sorry about that... but I've been busy just being mama and such.

We got back from Michigan a week ago (Susan, I am going to call you back, I am, really!!!!). While we were there Ruby got to meet a lot of family!

Aunt Mary spent a lot of time loving on Ruby and of course brought more cute knitted love!

Ruby met three more cousins (well second cousins if you want to be specific, but who cares!)

She also met the whole Rasmussen/Piotrowski Family - what a bunch of crazies!

Yes... this is an explosion of PINK. It's PINK.. but it's still cute. :)

On a walk with dad... she looks a lot like him I think!

She has been sleeping a LOT.
She sleeps while shopping.
She slept on the plane.

She has also been eating a LOT.
She eats nose.
She eats chin.

Someone is growing!

Oh yeah... she rolled over. Once in Michigan - but I think it was a surprise...... then on sunday she rolled over on purpose (with excellent coaching, thanks Tyler!)! Of course we didn't get it on video... but we will. soon soon.

I'll leave you with this.... quite possibly one of the best pictures ever....

2006-10-01T18:31:00.000-07:00

Ruby goes to Uncle John's Cider Mill.......

We're in Michigan visiting family so, a few days ago we took a short drive to Uncle John's Cider Mill. Mmmmm fresh apple cider and donuts!

We decided to do some shopping.....

do we want to buy some flowers? nah too late in the season

Or some Apples? nah we can get those anywhere.

What about some honey? Nah, that might spill in the suitcase.

Hmmm, a scarecrow? Too big to carry on the plane.

What about a tiny pumpkin? hmmm, maybe.

There looks like at least one good one in this pile!

14 lbs! SOLD!!!

She looks kind of tired, but still delightful, pack her up! we're taking this one home!

2006-09-29T17:15:00.000-07:00

Ruby's day in hats.....

Yes. we did make her try this on.

And this one too.

Yo homies, Not liking this hat, no.

This one, it's ok. But I'm not sold on it.

This one is cute, but I HATE IT ON MY HEAD!!! GET IT OFFFFFF!!!!!

I look cute - but it's a wee bit small.

I'm just the cutest bear in the forest!

I think I look the best in this one. What do you think of my Uncle Kurt?

2006-09-28T19:13:00.000-07:00

Ruby had her first professional photo 'shoot' today. (read: we went to the mall). It's official. She IS the cutest baby EVER. Seriously?
Seriously.

You are under the powers of my cuteness! None shall escape! All shall bow to me! I am the ruler of all that is cute!

Rock on Chicago, Rock on London. Wheaties, breakfast of champions. (if you know the reference, you know how funny that is)

Hey! What's under that blanket? RUBY!!!!

Oh, I'm so cute with the feathers.

Mmmmmm feathers.

Safest place a girl can be, in her daddy's hands

Being cute is exhausting. later taters!

2006-09-22T23:14:00.000-07:00

Ruby does the "sleepy kitten".....

2006-09-20T21:59:00.000-07:00

Dear Ruby,

Today you are three months old. One year ago yesterday a nice doctor put two blastocysts (big word for cells that are potential people) in my womb and wished me luck. We had no idea if one or both of these potential people would decide to stick around, and if one did, who it would become. And now... here you are. Wow. What a year we've had together, my little girl.

This month you've learned many, many new things. You've started giggling, although your giggle is more like a squeal with a wide mouthed toothless grin attached to it.

You've also started resisting sleep, boy is that fun for your dad and I. Bounce, shush, swaddle, lather, rinse, repeat. Sometimes the only way to get you to sleep is to put you in the sling and bounce bounce bounce. That exausts me, but because you're soooooo cute, we'll keep doing it.

You are growing so very fast. You're outgrowing more clothes everyday, and yet you still seem so small. I think you're about 12.5 lbs, but that's just an estimate from weighing you on the scale at home. You feel heavier in my arms when I bounce you to sleep, and yet you seem so tiny when I lie you in our big king sized bed.

You love to smile. When someone smiles at you, you almost always return the favor with a big silly toothless grin. It tends to cause the orignal smiler to completely melt into a puddle of Rubylove. This works wonders on your Daddy when he comes home from work a little cranky.

You are starting to notice other babies when you see them. You have a friend who you've known since long before you were both born ( you are both magic IVF babies ) and the two of you are finally getting to know eachother. You have another friend who should be arriving in the next few weeks. You're going to have lots of friends. For some silly reason, the thought of you having friends makes your daddy get all teary. He's such a sucker.

You are starting to get teethe. I think it will be a while before they poke through, but you are exhibiting all the signs of a baby on the way to teeth. You shove everything you can into your mouth and when it's something chewy you gnaw on it with all of your might. You also get very very cranky when your gums hurt, but we're learning ways to soothe you.

You are very very close to rolling over! You arch your back and roll to your side, and I'm sure you'll be completely rolled over soon. I can't wait for you to do this, and still I'll wait for you to do it in your own time. It's pretty obvious that you do everything in your own time.

A year ago yesterday a nice doctor put two blastocysts inside my womb. I left feeling scared, hopeful, and awestruck. I went home and rubbed my belly and asked you to stick around, and you did. What a year it's been.

All of my love, Mama

2006-09-18T10:18:00.000-07:00

I should be folding laundry. but instead, I'm doing this.
wise choice, eh?

Fall has arrived, and with it, cooler weather... which means fleece jackets and fleece pouches for walks!

Yesterday Ruby's buddy Brigit came over for breakfast (with her parents of course)

It looks like a girlfight, but really, it's just B trying to eat Ruby. Ruby didn't seem phased by it at all.

In the end, I think they will be friends for a loooooooong time.

Soon (well not TOO soon - but in a few weeks) we'll get to meet another new friend, Grayson. We can't wait!!!! :D A BOY friend!!! cool!

2006-09-16T20:43:00.000-07:00

Cutest monkey in the jungle

Girls with mohawks DON'T wear pink!!!

Look Ma! I have HANDS!!!!

What you talkin about willis?

2006-09-10T22:59:00.000-07:00

Hi it's Ruby Time!!

Hey everyone!!! Look what I can do now!!!
The other day, I lay Ruby on her tum and she immediately arched both head and feet up! It only lasted for a moment, and she hasn't done it since, but it's a stepping stone to rolling... which I think she'll be doing before the month is out.

Lately everything is about HANDS. Looking at them, playing with them, eating them. She tries to get her hand in her mouth WITH a nipple - but that doesn't work out so well.

Sometimes she's able to actually get just her thumb, but mostly she likes her thumb and forefinger.

Now... can this outfit be anymore outrageous? I like to call this picture "Ruby Two Step".

See you later in the week!

2006-09-06T09:40:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! did you miss me?

Well, we're back from the beach, and we had a rocking good time. Well, more of a bouncing good time, as we have decided (smartly) not to go anywhere without Ruby's favorite soothing mechanism.... The big red exercise ball!Auntie Lyn bounced me for a bit, but I'm still cranky!

We had a fantastic condo with a lovely kitchen... lots of delish food was consumed! mmmmmmm fresh fish! french toast! mmmmmm! We went for walks around town,

and on the beach, in a super warm and comfy fleece pouch we borrowed from my friend Nichol (i'm on the hunt for one for me now!) it was chilly but the sun did come out eventually. we enjoyed most of the weekend watching whales from our panoramic windows.

And Ruby sported some cute new baby legs! (legwarmers for baby - much easier to change a diaper with these on than pants!)

Of course there was much much Ruby loving going on all weekend. We feel pretty lucky to have this little person in our lives!

2006-09-01T09:45:00.000-07:00

I'm going to the beach, yo. Catch you on the flip side!

2006-08-31T11:10:00.000-07:00

ooooh! twice in a week! aren't you excited??

Not much happening here, hopefully we're going to the beach this weekend, so I thought I'd give some Ruby sweetness to get you through the holiday.
this girl is loving her tongue and staring to put things in her mouth.... also starting to drool..... are teeth on the way?

This look we call "I'ts 1984, and i teach jazzercise! now reach and left and SMILE!!"

I am Ruby from the planet Remulak. I mean I am from France. I am here to consume mass quantities.

2006-08-29T21:14:00.000-07:00

Oh.. the cool weather is back for a few days here in P-town! You'd think this would make for a happy happy baby, as we're not sweating our butts off anymore... Oh no. Instead we got cranky baby today. I won't post pix of cranky baby, because cranky baby makes it hard to take pictures. So instead... here are some pictures of sleeeeeeeeeeepy baby.

She's even edible in her sleep.
This onesie says "nobody puts baby in the corner'
mmmm milkdrunk sleepy baby!

And one from a walk the other night when it was soooooooooo hot.

2006-08-25T18:36:00.000-07:00

Who would like to see some more Ruby sweetness? Anyone? No? ok then, we'll stop posting cute pictures of Ruby.

Ha! Like I'd stop. I don't care if you're sick of her. She's mine and I adore her!!!!! muhahahahahahah Muhahahahahaha!!!!

These eyes will pierce your soul and melt your heart

Yep... she's a good little tree hugger just like her mama and daddy.

Thank you folks, I'll be here till thursday. Please remember to tip your waitress.

2006-08-20T21:31:00.000-07:00

Dear Ruby,

Today you are two months old. My my my how you've changed. In the past two months, you've given me more joy than I could ever have imagined. You've caused my heart to explode into a million peices more than once, and then you put it all back together with your perfect chubby cheeks. You are quite possibly the cutest baby in the history of the universe. I love you more than I could have ever dreamed, and am still surprised you're here every morning when I wake up.

You've started smiling.... and your smile can melt hearts. You love mornings, it's when you are the most smiley and almost giggly. When we tickle under your chin you smile your toothless grin, and squeal with delight. Occasionally you'll do the same thing when we snoogle your feet. Oh your feet... they are so soft and so sweet. I'd like to smother them in chocolate and eat them with marshmallows. Your eyelashes are works of art, and i'd like to dip each one of them in sugar and eat them all up.

You dream often, and I love watching you as you do. Your eyes twitch, and your lips move, sometimes like a smile, and sometimes in a frown. Your whole face contorts in joy and sorrow. Sometimes your breathing changes, and it seems like you are almost laughing in your sleep. What I would give to be in your brain, and know what you dream about.

You're growing! recently, a few of your onesies have proven to be just a wee bit small. When I realized this, I was reduced to a blubbering mess.... I hadn't thought about you GROWING.... at last weigh in at 8 weeks old, you were 10 lbs,11 oz... not to small not too big, just right.

This month you went on your first hike
attended your first concert and first big party. You have been quite the hit at all events. You also saw your mama go back to work, and your daddy come home early to be in charge for a while. You of course, handled this much better than either of us. You are starting to take an interest in toys, although you don't laugh half as hard as I do when we play with them. You have also started loving looking at books, hopefully you'll be a good reader like your mama.
You are mostly a really happy baby. You eat well, sleep well and poop well. You tend to do well in the car, which makes running errands easier. Although, it's two stops and that is it for you. After that, all bets are off.
You still love taking a bath, although you HATE getting out. I don't know if it's the cold, or just being out of the water, but within 30 seconds of getting out of the bath you scream bloody murder until you're swaddled and nursing.
You love walks outside, especially facing out in the sllings. You can see the world, and it can see you.... and oh how the world adores you!

My dear sweet Ruby-roo, how much I love you has completely taken me by surprise. I am still surprised on a daily basis, that I AM SOMEONE'S MOTHER. I am YOUR mother (god help us all). Everytime I look at you I am struck by the awesome power that is a mother's love. I hadn't planned on this. I didn't realize it would get stronger everyday, and that it would completely engulf my being. I didn't know it would wake me up in the middle of the night to stare by moonlight at your perfect perfect fingers. I didn't know that seeing you lock eyes with me and smile would make me feel that you were that missing peice of the puzzle that got stuck between the couch cushions and has finally made my sky complete.* I didn't expect such profound connection, but I am so very thankful, so VERY VERY thankful you are here.

Love Mama

2006-08-15T14:02:00.000-07:00

I guess you've gathered that the days of posting pictures of Ruby everyday are gone gone gone. Yeah, we just don't have the time for that anymore! Ruby is busy seeing the world and meeting with dignitaries. Ok maybe not exactly that... but still not time to post everyday. We're still trying for a couple of times a week though.....
So Yesterday mama went back to work for the first time. I don't know how Ryan has gone to work everyday since she was 2 weeks old. No wonder he rushes home at the end of the day and calls/emails to check in. it is HARD to leave. But... we won't bore you with the sad details of mama crying in the car, and all of her patients having to listen to her talk about miss Ruby-roo all day (well for the 3 hours I worked yesterday)... we'll tell what Ruby and Daddy did while Mama worked!

Reading!!! Dad discovered that Ruby loves books! (she gets it from me) He read her three books that were gifts from my awesome friend Hilary (who just had a huge baby boy!!). They also watered the yard - an old favorite of Ruby's and she drank a full three oz of breatsmilk from the bottle (and was still hungry!). Go dad! The only person who cried was me... hopefully that will get better with time, but since I'm only working two half days a week for the next few months, i should survive.

Today Ruby got weighed again, 10 lbs 11 oz! I think she's gonna be petite like her mama. We also went to a NINO meeting, all about babywearing.... and practiced using the maya wrap.

Maybe you'll all get lucky and there will be more of the ruby chronicles later this week.... but I wouldn't hold my breath!

2006-08-10T21:26:00.000-07:00

Ah... people and their stupid hangups. The recent cover of Baby Talk magazine featured a mother feeding her infant. For some reason, this has offended people. Um... seriously. Breasts make milk. Babies need milk. Therefore, breasts are for babies. Duh. Breasts have been so sexualized in this country, that many seem to have forgotten the reason we have them. WE HAVE THEM TO FEED BABIES.... not for the pleasure of men. Sigh... is this so hard to remember people? Breasts are for babies. I could rant on and on about this, but I won't. Too many others have done a better job. Kateri has put out a call to all of us to post our breastfeeding pictures to remind others that not only is it not obscene, it's what they are made for.
Ruby is seven weeks old and she's been nursed all over the place. Everywhere from the park concert to home depot, thankfully no one has said anything to me, cause I'm a force to be reckoned with when I'm angry. Trust me.
This was on monday... Ruby was almost 7 weeks old.
A few weeks ago.. nursing out in the back yard after an outdoor bath.
The first time she latched on - the day she was born. :)

Now.. do you understand what breasts are for? Or do we need to go over this again?

2006-08-10T21:12:00.000-07:00

7 weeks old! Ruby is 7 weeks old (as of tuesday... hey it's been a busy week! Lots of pooping and crying and eating!)

Here she is in the outfit she came home in... still fits! Even tho last week at the midwives she weighed just over 10 lbs.

She's as cute as ever. She's been a little under the weather the past couple of days - had a slight fever and has been cranky as can be - but still the cutest baby ever.

She's still looking for her thumb, but she's found her hand!

And last but not least.. here she is lying on the laundry room floor on the blanket Rachel made her while I do laundry. Thanks Rachel! (the cats love this blanket too....)

Next post will be about breastfeeding and the idiocy of others.

2006-08-07T21:52:00.000-07:00

So... Sunday we went for Ruby's first hike in the beautiful gorge.

She got all dressed up in some clothes for exploring and waited with her friend Alfonse the gay caterpillar for us to be ready.
"um.. there is some freaky gay caterpillar on me!"

We drove out to the gorge (about 30 mins from home)...
Um.. can I be any cuter in this hat?

and put her in the mei Tie for the first waterfall

Love the water... not loving this carrier right now.

later we tried the greemoby wrap..ahhhhh much better!

This is the life!

yes.. really I love love love the water.

Just where we all belong.... together.... outside!

2006-08-05T21:57:00.000-07:00

We're still here! We've just been busy.... well not really busy, just haven't had time to post pictures.

I had to post this.. just cause she's soooo cute in this little dress. I can't believe I am enjoying things that have pink on them. HELP ME!!!!

Yesterday we went to the babywearing conference... and lusted after many different slings and baby carriers. You can never EVER have too many baby carriers. Before we headed out we took some pix of Rubylicious in the great morning light. I love her so much, I almost can't stand it.

This is a sweet little outfit my dear friend Lisa made for Ruby... the pants are soooooooo soft, and the sweater is GORGEOUS! Ruby has many many hand knit things... many of which are still too big on her (Devon, I'll post a pix as soon as it fits her, I promise!)

Once we got to the babywearing conference, Ruby slept most of the time in the sling with Dad.
mmm i love the flavor of hand!
Today we went for a hike in the gorge.. it was ... gorgeous! Pix tomorrow!

2006-08-03T15:46:00.000-07:00

Ruby's day in pictures (with captions of course!)

We went for a walk in the new moby style wrap that Nana made... Of course she was asleep before i got to the end of the block.

Once she woke up, we took the blanket, computer, camera and a snack outside to the back yard....

She loves lying naked outside.. who doesn't?

This is the face she made just before she sneezed..... and shot poop out of her butt.... and all over me. yeah... it's an exciting life we lead here.

No there aren't any pixof the poop shoot! how sick do you think I am? (sorry, the camera battery died before I could get a shot!)

After a poop shooting incident a bath was in order... but you can't take pix when you're the only one home.
Even on a warm day, a little person needs something to warm her up after a bath!

She can't control her eyes, but she sure is cute!

Tonight we see our midwife for the last time... pix of that tomorrow!

2006-08-02T22:50:00.000-07:00

Long busy day.
Had many friends over to play.
Didn't get a good nap.
It's late now.... too tired to post much....

so how about a little before.......

and after....

2006-08-01T23:01:00.000-07:00

Cousin Kelcie comes to visit... and uses Ruby as her personal playspace!

Never fall asleep when your cousin is in the back seat with you... at least you know she loves you in the end!

2006-07-31T15:36:00.000-07:00

Monday Mei Tie day!

This weekend we tried out one of our carriers that hadn't been used yet. The Mei Tie! Ruby loved this carrier.. as did mom and dad. Comfy, colorful, and easy to use! Fun!This one was a gift from my sweet friend Cristina. Thanks!! :D

The weather has been pretty much perfect here in P-land... warm, sunny, with a lovely breeze. Perfect for a morning walk and some time on the back porch sunbathing.

At 5 AM, when the wake up call comes, Ruby-roo is soooooo cute. She has so many expressions and is so happy that early in the day. (She's the ONLY one, I tell ya. I've got to become a morning person....) It's not easy to get a good pix at 5 AM when it's not too light out and you're very very tired....

After a few pix tho, Ruby is like Madonna with the Paparazzi... No more pix!!

2006-07-30T13:16:00.000-07:00

Well, as we approach Ruby's 6th week, it's time to start getting ready for Mama to go back to work. I am officially starting to see patients again on the 14th of August when Ruby will be 8 weeks old (I can't even think about it without crying!). So..we've begun pumping breastmilk for the occasional bottle. I'm only going back for two half days and Ryan will be working from home on those days so he's got to give her bottles. He's not a seasoned baby feeder so he's learning, just as she is.

First time... not so good. she wasn't interested, and got pretty pissed off....
second try.... success! she took 1.5 oz of breastmilk, while mama cried in the kitchen.
Daddy totally enjoyed his feeding time, and had a great daddy daughter day. They went and ran a few errands while mama stayed home to 'relax' (read: couldn't sit still so I did laundry, sorted recycling, cleaned the kitchen, etc). They were gone for almost 2 hours, and I went almost completley insane. ALMOST ... but we all survived.

Ruby also had a trip to the park this week! we went to meet Adina and Brigit.. but missed them as we parked in different lots, and didn't have cell phones. However, Ruby and I had a nice time staring at trees, and swingingon the swing.
She's laying on a blanket from Auntie Bug. So fun and colorful!! one of our faves.

Hi trees!!! I love trees!!

This is what we call the "sleeping rollercoaster" look. woo hoo!!!! I love the boppy! Drunk on breastmilk, it's a wild ride!!!

2006-07-28T12:06:00.000-07:00

Today Ruby brings you news from the back yard! No... not more pix of her lying in the grass. Today we'll give you an idea of what's going on back there!

So .... we started off with a bunch of nothing... just a pile of weeds and a lot of dirt.

Then the landscapers did this.... (that's Kurt and Adam inspecting...)

Then... Kurt and Adam did this....

Now... it looks like this!

This will be Ruby (and all of her buddies) play house!

Ruby finds all this construction exhausting. Yawn!

Last but not least.... Ruby had a rough night last night (well Mama had a rough night)... Ruby must have beena bit gassy, as she was really figitey and punchy all night. We still put socks on her little paws to keep her from clawing mama to death.... So this morning when dad (he's working fromhome today) woke up he took Ruby down stairs so mama could get a wee bit more sleep. I call this pix... Ruby and her monkey fists.

2006-07-27T14:11:00.000-07:00

Ruby's outdoor adventures!

Last night we had some friends (::wave:: Hi Molly and Nappy!) come over for dinner (read: we ordered take out and ate it on plates from my kitchen). Ruby was pretty tired at first.....

Eventually she woke up, and we all sat out on the porch to have some delish middle eastern food (mmmmm Ya Hala!!)

She dined on breastmilk and thumb.

Today we took Gina's gorgeous fun blanket out to the back yard to hang out while Uncle Shiny Head (aka Uncle Kurt) and Adam worked on the garage. There isn't much shade, as the trees are still small.. but we found a bit and enjoyed the good weather.

Ruby thought it was a bit bright.. and wants some baby shades...

2006-07-26T18:13:00.000-07:00

Today I dressed Ruby up in a girly little outfit that Auntie Jackie gave us... Ruby was.... unimpressed....to say the least.

Eventually she fell asleep.... in the sling while we hung diapers out in the sun!

Of course.. that didn't last long...

After that.. sadly the cute little ruffled outfit was no longer clean and we had to choose something else..... but that was exhausting also.. so she passed out on me!

2006-07-25T20:16:00.000-07:00

Ooooh fun! I put Ruby in the Moby facing out today ((yes, I know that they aren't supposed to go facing out till they have good head control, well I kept my hand on her little noggin, and she's got decent head control for a 5 week old!)) and she loved it!
we went for a walk around the neighborhood and she got to see so much. Much better than smooshed against mom's boobs! (well not when you want her to sleep!)

She had a good nap all wrapped up in a blanket made by Nana while lying in the Boppy

Spent a lot of time bouncing on the ball - boy this makes mama's back sore! Things just arent the same after being pregnant and having your belly cut open!

Ahhhh! the Thrush is back! Dr. Mona was called today to see what we do next... Cause this sucks!

2006-07-24T10:50:00.000-07:00

Cutest.Baby.EVER.

I've told you that Ruby V. Loves the bath, right????? Here's more proof.....

Good god she's cute!!!

I'm so cute you should give me ONE MILLION DOLLARS!!!

What, you don't think I"m the cutest baby ever? Really?????

For that I'll make you look again!!!! Look at how cute I am!!! How can you deny that? Dont' you want to just eat her up?

2006-07-23T12:04:00.000-07:00

Ruby visits the beach!!!

It was a hot hot day yesterday, so we decided to head out to the beach. SO.DID.EVERYONE.ELSE. It took 4 hours and 45 minutes to get to Lincoln City. It normally takes 90 mins. GOOD GOD... IT.WAS.MISERABLE! Fortunately, Ruby did pretty well. We stopped once for a snack, a change... and she hardly cried at all. The rest of us, were cranky as hell, though!

She spent a lot of time noshing on mama and daddy's fingers...

And she spent a lot of time sleeping...

Once we got to the beach (oh it was sooooo cool and lovely!) She slept more in her sling, as she LOOOOOOOOOOOVES the sound of the water.

2006-07-21T20:11:00.000-07:00

Good god. It's too hot to post.

Just kidding. I won't let you have a Ruby-less day!! (although tomorrow you may be out of luck, as we're going to the beach, and don't know how late we'll be home!)

Today it was 105 here in P-town. yes... One Hundred and FIVE. That's disgusting, folks. really. I mean, seriously.

Ruby wasn't a huge fan of the hot weather. We camped out in the one room of our house (the bedroom) that has AC ( although by the end of the day our living room had it too!!!!) and Ruby decided that even tho it was so hot, all she wanted to do was nurse, ALL. DAY. LONG. MMMM lucky mama!!

We did venture out to do a few things... we had lunch with Daddy downtown, and had to put on this super cute outfit.

Miss Ruby had to sleep in just a diaper because it's soooo hot.. However, she has serious talons, as she hasn't napped deep enough for us to trim them in a while.. so I tried to get her to sleep with some mitts on. As you can see... it didn't last long.

Ah... more daddy love!

2006-07-20T19:50:00.000-07:00

Ooooooh Lawdy It's Hawt!!

Today it got up to 95 here in normally lovely Portland, Oregon.
It didn't seem that hot before we got out of bed this morning, but my oh my... it sure did get hot later!

Ruby spent today in one of the cutest outfits she has... a gift from Auntie Jackie. She looks like she just spent a week in Hawaii, doesn't she?

By the end of the day, we had a slightly cranky and very naked baby... Lets hope we survive the next few days as it's about to get hotter!

Oh yeah.. Ruby had her one month appointment with our midwives.. she weighs 9lbs 5 oz (up two pounds in a week!) and is 20.5 inches long (grew 1.5 inches since birth!!) Our little gem is growing up!

2006-07-19T16:56:00.000-07:00

More Ruby-licious adventures!!

Last night we went up to Mt. Tabor Park for a concert in the park! Ruby LOVES live music!! She was happy as can be the whole time.. and was wide awake and rocking out!

She loved hanging out on top of mama's chest.. lots of love time.

Daddy and Uncle Kurt (aka Uncle Shiny Head) are so in love with me!

My daddy is from Michigan, and my mommy is from California.. but THIS....
This is what babies born in Oregon look like.

Whew! That was exhausting!

Once we got home, a bath was in order... this will be her last bath in the bathroom sink.. she's outgrowing it!
The pix on the left is from her first bath, and the one on the right was yesterday!

Tomorrow we go to see Ellie our midwife for Ruby's one month checkup... we'll see how big she's gotten!

2006-07-18T15:22:00.000-07:00

One month letter, from daddy.

My sweet Ruby,

It’s hard to believe that one of the most incredible and anticipated moments of our lives took place four weeks ago today. Your mom and I have traveled a long, adventurous and sometimes very painful road to get to this point; to finally have a chance to meet you, hold you, love you. And you know what? It was all worth it and more. All the tears, screams, needles, drugs, doctors, days, months and years of persistence and waiting…..it was all worth it and more. From the very first cry in the OR, to the squeaking, squawking, crying, snorting, pooping, arm flailing, and frog kicking since then…..it all makes the long wait worth it and much, much more. Some have said that you look like either your mom or myself, or a little of both. I would say you look like you. It’s the best way to describe it…..chubby cheeked, inquisitive eyed, perfect little you.

Already at your one month birthday, you have more people loving you, rooting for you, watching you, doting over you, and relishing in your very existence than you will ever know. There are people that you may never meet who are your biggest fans…...already quite the following for a four week old little girl! We will do our best to show you as much of the world as possible and introduce you to as many of your fans as we can. Hopefully you’ll enjoy traveling as much as your parents do…..camping, hiking, traveling to foreign lands….we’ll do it all! And one thing is certain, you LOVE water. This is especially exciting for me, because you’ll come to find that I LOVE to fly-fish….or attempt to fly-fish, rather. It’s only a matter of time before we venture out for our first camping trip, strategically located by a nice stream or river of course, where I will bring you down to the water’s edge and tell you all about this favorite pastime of mine and my hopes that one day we will be fishing side by side. Until then, I will have you with me to soak in the goodness of the Earth’s elements. This water will be a wee bit chilly for you, so we’ll stick with the sink or tub for now. When you take baths, which seems to be your favorite thing ever, your little Zen water face is to die for, and the occasional frog kick and arm flail is icing on the cake. If only you knew how cute you are.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention your personal signature to ‘mark’ the occasion today. It’s becoming well known that you have quite the little thunder butt, following in your dad’s footsteps. This morning however, you got me. All it took was one moment of freedom on the bedspread and ‘squirts mcgavin’ had left her smelly little gift right where dad sleeps! It was pretty funny although I was a little too grumpy and tired this morning to appreciate the moment…..sorry about that. I was pretty sad to leave this morning, as I am most mornings. There’s not a lot I can do about the being gone all day thing right now unless we win the lottery, but just know that not a second passes that I’m not thinking about you. More difficult times lie ahead when I take my first business trip later this summer or early fall, but I’ll do my best to keep the trips short and you close to my heart.

I’m sure you’ve already figured this out, but you have one of the best moms of all time. Trust me on this. I’ve looked around, ran background checks, the whole bit. She is incredibly strong, courageous, loving, and completely devoted to you. We are both very lucky and blessed to have her in our lives, so be mindful of those razor sharp nails and frog legs of yours come feeding time!

There is so much to look forward to in the upcoming days. I can already tell that you’re figuring things out and have so much you want to say. I will cherish every moment….every breath you take, the sweet smell of your hair, those chubby little cheeks that almost engulf your chin, your curled up little body next to mine as we water the yard together. So much to look forward to and yet so much to already be thankful for. Someone at work recently said that you don’t truly understand love until you have one of your own. I get that now. The seemingly insurmountable amounts of pain and time and money that your mom and I endured and spent, it pales in comparison to the love that you have created. Thank you my sweet Ruby for joining this family, helping to heal old wounds, reinforcing the idea that hope is good and real and worth hanging onto until the very end.

Happy one month birthday Rubes…….you were certainly worth the wait
-Dad

2006-07-18T11:16:00.000-07:00

One month - Four weeks.

In the same vein as Dooce, I'm going to write Ruby Violet a monthly love letter, noting what's happened and how we've all changed. This is our first installment.

Dear Ruby Violet,

Four weeks ago, you came out of my body and entered this world. When I tell you that you were much anticipated, and waited for all around the world.. I truly mean it. There are people you've never met, and may not ever meet who were anxiously checking in here, wondering when you'd finally make your appearance, and all of them were in love with you before you were born.
Your daddy and I have been waiting for you for a very long long time. I'm not talking about the 12 days past your due date, or the 41.5 weeks of the pregnancy, I'm not even talking about the never ending ache of over 2 years of infertility. Long long before that, we knew in our hearts that someday you'd be part of our lives. When we got married 10 years ago, we'd occasionally whisper in bed at night about who you'd be and what we'd show you in this world. You're only 4 weeks old today, but there is so very much we're going to show you, teach you and share with you. Oh baby, baby, it's a wild world, and we're going to make sure you see it all.

Over the past month, you've done many things, and learned so much. You love to be bounced, either on the ball or in someones arms. You also love the swing on the front porch that Auntie Jackie got us from Mexico. You love the sound of the wind chimes, and when you hear them you look all around trying to figure out where they are coming from. The sound you love most of all, is a loud loud waterfall, we've downloaded one and you listen to it anytime you're cranky or can't find your way. Strangely, you also love the sound of the air compressor, or anything loud and constant. I think you're going to love concerts and live music, because at the neighborhood block party, you weren't even phased by the drum corp that marched up and down the street. When you hear my voice or your daddy's voice you instantly crank your head and eyes around looking for us. Everytime that happens, my heart feels a little bit fuller, because I know you know me.

You still have your baby fuzz on the tops of your ears, the backs of your shoulders and on your legs. You're like a furry little monkey. Speaking of monkeys.... you grunt and groan like a monkey. You also make this crazy noise when you're half asleep/waking up that sounds like an elephant. You're like... and elephant monkey baby. Of course, we still love you, even when you're elephanting at 3 am while you're rooting around for a breast and clawing mama's chest. You also squeek like mouse sometimes when you're sleeping. Hmmm with all that fur, and those noises, we may have to check and make sure they didn't mix up our embryos with some from the zoo.

You are a wonderful eater, and a pretty good sleeper. although sometimes, you get way too stimulated and fuss a lot before you fall asleep. Usually, bouncing on the ball while nursing and listening to your favorite sound will mellow you right out. You can also fill a diaper with mustardy goodness like no tomorrow. Usually you get a little workedup right before, and then once you've dumped your load.. you get a complete look of zen on your face. It's the funniest thing, and it makes your daddy and I laugh and laugh. This very morning, as your dad changed your diaper before he went to work, you let off a little butt steam all over his side of the bed (way to go girl!). He didn't find that nearly as comical as I did. Well, serves him right for not putting a changing pad underneath you!

You love to be in the slings. Sometimes you fuss a bit until you get comfortable, but usually you fall asleep shortly after getting in. You love to have someone put you in the sling and either go for a walk, or turn on the hose and water the yard. It's one of your favorite things to do with your daddy, and he loves it too.

You also love love love the bath. This is no surprise to me, as I love it also. As soon as we dunk your naked butt in the water you become super happy zen frog baby (again, wondering about the zoo). You float, kick and just stare at everything around you. You're never too happy when we take you out and make you put on clothes, as you love being naked, but you can't live in the tub. Trust me, I tried it.

Everyone says, when you have a child, you realize you can love more than you ever imagined. This my sweet Ruby is the biggest understatement in the history of the universe. I knew before you were concieved that I'd love you more than my own two hands. I knew as you grew inside of me that when I looked in your eyes my heart would grow three sizes. What I didn't know was that when I smelled your head, that my heart would crack wide open and everything I ever had in there would come pouring out, leaving me an open empty shell that would quickly fill with the most intense feeling of love I could ever imagine. I didn't know that it would be virtually impossible to put words to the feelings and thoughts. I had no clue how vast and expansive I would feel inside when I looked into your bright eyes, and felt your breath on my face. I couldn't have anticipated the ache I'd feel when you were held by someone else for too long, and the joy and sense of relief when you are in my arms again. I had no idea how amazing you'd be. You are truly a gift, and I am so very glad I waited to open the package.

If someone had told me years ago, that my longing for a child would take on such a huge part of my life, that we'd battle infertility, and I'd feel the depths of pain and anguish with such intensity, I'd never have belived them. If they had also told me that getting pregnant and giving birth would be such transcendant experiences, forcing me to re-evaluate everything in my life from the friends around me, to my self worth, to my every life experience, I'd never have believed them. If someone had told me that going through all of that would cause me to love your daddy more than I did before, that the mere sight of him would make my want to cry, and that I'd feel an even deeper connection with him, I'd never have believed them. If they'd also told me that once you were finally here, all of those things would seem like the easiest obstacles in the world, that the pain, anguish and struggle was worth it all, I'd never have believed them. Now, I'd have to say, they would have been right.

Welcome to the world Ruby Violet. Happy one month birthday. Thank you for making me whole.

I love you to the moon and down again, and around the world and back again. I love you to the sun and down again, around the stars and back again.

With all of my heart, and all that I have, Mama

2006-07-17T11:11:00.000-07:00

Sorry ... you all had a Ruby-less day yesterday. We had a busy busy day, and by the time we got home, it was off to bed, and I never got a chance to upload the day's pix. DOn't worry, I'll make up for it today in cuteness!

We went to Portland Saturday Market!!
Ruby looked Ruby-licious in the dress we bought on our Mexico vacation. Good god, she's cute.

We parked on the east side of the river and took the Max to the market... fun!!

We bought a new sling at PSM... LOVE IT! :D comfy,easy to use. and RubyRed.

She slept like a baby (hardy har har) in it, even after we got back to the car.

Then we went up to Pier Park so the boys could play a little dork golf .. I mean disc golf. Ruby loves the park!!

Especially when she gets to lie around naked!

n.. she gets super sleepy.. being at the park is lots of work!

Ok that's all from Ruby land today! see you tomorrow (unless we get busy!)

2006-07-15T14:36:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we had the cement poured for the foundation of the garage that's being built in the back yard!! Ruby had to leave her mark, of course...

Today Ruby met with a new friend, Lincoln (son of my former receptionist) who is 8 weeks old tomorrow!.. He looks so big next to the Rub-ster!

We went to the neighborhood block party today.. and of course everyone in the neighborhood was smitten with Miss Ruby-licious.... of course!

Tomorrow we're going to the Farmer's Market and Saturday Market.. We'll see what kind of trouble Ruby gets into there!

2006-07-14T15:52:00.000-07:00

Go State!

Everyone knows Ryan is from Michigan, right? and you all know he went to Michigan State, right??? Well Ruby sure knows!!

Yeah MSU!

Um.. MSU, what's that?

Go STATE!

Um... who is this monkey and why is he hugging me?

Aw.. I love Elwood the gay monkey!!

2006-07-14T11:38:00.000-07:00

Last night Ruby had her first taste of Flying Pie Pizza. Mmmmmm Flying Pie! best pizza in town.. and only 4 blocks from home!

Of couse, she slept through most of the adventure, bu she sure loved the pizza later!

We walked there and back... Ruby loves walking in the neighborhood. Especially with people who love her so much!

Of course, once she'd had her fill of pizza milk, she passed out... Shhhhhh Ruby's sleeping!

Last but not least.... when grandma arrived, there was a whole box of treats! many many soakers made by (guess who!) the fantastic Aunt Mary

Michigan State Green!!! (stay tuned for more cutie patootie soaker pix - and sweaters and hats too!)

Grandma also got in on the hand made gift action... she made Miss Rubylicious six blankets with a Lorax theme! this one is the brown barbaloots. Hand embroidered with a crochet edge. soooo cute.. and made with grandma love!

2006-07-13T15:52:00.000-07:00

More adventures of Rubystiltskin....

Last night she got to meet Uncle Kurt! He and his buddy Adam (not in any pictures yet) drove from Michigan to spend a few weeks with us building a garage in the backyard.

I think Uncle Kurt is smitten. (Of course... who wouldn't be?) Don't mind the shine off of Uncle Kurt's head... we all need sunglasses around it.

So today we went grocery shopping with Grandma.. It was a wee bit chilly this morning, so we had to put on pants and booties. So.. we donned these hand knit booties from one of Grandma's friends, Mary! :D Every baby needs MSU booties, don't they? I think Mary's note said "Green and White look great on a boy or a girl!"

Finally, here is Miss Rubylicious in her diva pose...

2006-07-12T14:46:00.000-07:00

The exciting life of Ruby!

Yesterday Dr. Amy came and gave Ruby her first chriopractic and craniosacral treatment.
It seems to have helped a bit with her super crankiness and her gassiness. Yippie for housecalls!

When she gets cranky she loves to do a little dance with Daddy.

Today she got to meet Grandma!!!! Of course we had to put her in something super cute for the trip to the airport...
The dressis a hand me down from my friend Nichol.. and the sweater was hand knit by my sweet friend Myndi... isn't she just the cutest?

So when Ruby met Grandma.....

guess who cried?

Not Ruby! ( is anyone surprised by this? didn't think so )

2006-07-11T15:17:00.000-07:00

We're about to attempt a nap (well she's already napping, I'm hoping to join her!)... so this will be a short cuteness update.

Here's a shot of her saying Hi to dad... he needed a ruby pick me up at the office today. :)

and of course.. here is Ruby the activist.. raising her fist to the man. Yes.... the man, the feds, whitey.... you know... the man!

2006-07-10T19:31:00.000-07:00

Who's the cutest baby in the history of the universe?
Me me me!!!

Who's the queen of the jungle?
Me me me!!!

Who loves being snggled up against mama?
Me me me!!!

Phththththththt! Who's the the best?!
Me me me!!!

2006-07-09T14:57:00.000-07:00

Sunday funny sunday

Ah.. can this kid be any cuter? I mean, seriously?

This morning we woke up at 7 to a wet bed... apparently at 4:30 when her last dipe had been changed, I didn't put it on tight enough... so we had our first cloth diaper accident. Not bad for over two weeks, eh? So we had to strip the bed and wash all the bedding (although I'd just changed it the day before.) Ruby was unfazed, and slept on an unmade bed..
although she was embarassed that she wet the bed....

yesterday was a hot hot day here in P-town, so Ruby and I went to Target to buy a kiddie pool. The kiddie pools were huge, so I bought a big plastic tub and we went home and had an outdoor bath! (of course we took video of this, but no pix)
Afterward she was HUNGRY...
so we also had dinner al fresco. Thankfully she didn't empty her pooper while just wrapped in her ducky towel. I know I'm going to be shit on someday... I just thank my lucky stars everyday that it doesn't happen.

2006-07-08T12:11:00.000-07:00

Saturday cuteness!

Yesterday our friend Nichol came over with DELICIOUS enchiladas, and gave us some lessons on using the slings we have.
She is a serious slinging mama. She's had the experience of 3 babes, and she handled Ruby like a pro... Ryan and I are still figuring it all out... sometimes I wonder if someone is going to come and take her away, cause we have NO CLUE what we're doing!

Once she was in the sling, she was happy!!! or she'd just pass out! We're going to love love love the sling around here!

Nichol also brought over a bunch of her daughter's super cute girly clothes. Oh... the fun we'll have this week!
We have this same outfit in shorts... but who doesn't love a sweet baby girl in a blue dress with a duck, a frog and a bear? Seriously, if you don't adore this, you have a heart made of stone and should probably stop reading now. Go on, get!

Ruby has been going through a cranky phase. She's either eating, sleeping or cranky (unless she's in the tub!) However today, she has had quite a bit of happy awake time again.. maybe the phase has passed! I HOPE SO!!! cranky inconsolable baby makes for mama and daddy who feel like they have no clue, and who want to run away to mexico! Thankfully she's so cute we wouldn't get far. ;)

Kissy Face. Don't you just want to eat her????

Crossed eyes... she's still figuring out how to work those eyes independently. Someday she'll figure it out..... someday.

2006-07-07T17:55:00.000-07:00

Out and about!

Today Ruby and I went to Target to do a wee bit of shopping, and to meet a friend.

We used the New Native pouch sling.. and for the most part were completely successful! This was the only way I could get a pix of us in the sling... in the car window. but, it worked, sort of!

Ruby was comfy and cozy, and slept the whole time.... from one block away from the house, till we were back in the house 2 hours later!

We had to do a little girly shopping, as most of Ruby's clothes are gender non specific....

Can she be any cuter? Of course she was covered in spit up and breastmilk within 15 mins of putting this on.. but such is life, eh?

Ok now you can all laugh at me for buying something pink, go ahead. Laugh.

2006-07-06T20:56:00.000-07:00

Today we went out on our own! well we went to Daddy's office to show off cutie patootie Ruby, then we all went to the hospital for the post op appointment. Of course everyone at Ecos thought Ruby was the cutest baby ever (well, of course.... she is!!)

She of course slept through the whole visit, but was cute as can be.

Post op went well. No surprises there. The doc was surprised that I'mnot on pain meds anymore (haven't been on anything stronger than ibuprofen since the day after the surgery)... but honestly, I feel pretty good. Of course he was oohing and ahhing about how cute Ruby is. Duh.

She just LOVES the water. LOVES it. Loves hearing it, being in it... loves water. She took a bath in the tub with Daddy the other night..... such a happy baby!

2006-07-05T11:59:00.000-07:00

Dad went back to work today!!!!

So far, so good. We slept a little, showered, got dressed, had some food, and finally after being alert for two hours went back to sleep. Of course, because we miss daddy so very much, Ruby will only sleep in arms today. Cest la vie, eh?

so todays pictures are all for daddy, who is lonley at the office missing his girls.

2006-07-04T17:21:00.000-07:00

Two weeks old!

Two weeks ago Ruby finally joined us....

Isn't she lovely
Isn't she wonderfull
Isn't she precious
Less than one minute old
I never thought through love we'd be
Making one as lovely as she
But isn't she lovely made from love

Isn't she pretty
Truly the angels best
Boy, I'm so happy
We have been heaven blessed
I cant believe what God has done
Through us hes given life to one
But isn't she lovely made from love

Isn't she lovely
Isn't she wonderfull
Isn't she precious
Less than one minute old
I never thought through love we'd be
Making one as lovely as she
But isn't she lovely made from love

And finally, Happy 4th of July.. our least favorite holiday ever!!! We hate all the loud firecrackers that the yahoos let off in the neighborhood... but, since Auntie Laura sent this cute bathingsuit... we have a 4th of july pix for you!

2006-07-03T21:17:00.000-07:00

Of poop and zombies....

Ruby is a great pooper. She loves to poop. after a poop she gets a serious zen look on her face, like... all is right with the world, I have pooed, and the universe is in perfect order. This morning, right after Ryan changed an incredibly wet diaper, mere seconds after snapping the last snap on the fresh dipe, she let loose - she likes a fresh palate on which to do her work. Of course this makes for a little more diaper laundry... but what's a few more dirty dipes if you have a happy baby butt?

Nana made this adorable jacket/hat combo... it's fleece so it's only used in the early morning/evening. But she's oh so cute in it!

When Ruby is sleeping she has many time where she startles (called the Moro Reflex) and her arms reach out... then she freezes...Like a zombie baby.

She had another bath this week, and she just LOVES the water! She also loves her new towel...Nana spoiled her quite a bit with sweet homemade treats!

She's a bit smaller than dad... but I think she's gonna be bigger than mom eventually!

Nat and Nancy came over and made hand and foot prints! Can't wait to see how they finish :D

Last, here she is having some love with mama....She smells so sweet, I just can't get enough of her!

2006-07-02T15:38:00.000-07:00

There comes a time when all infertiles write this post. now, it's my turn.

After all we've been through, the endless cycles, the blood that came no matter how i pleaded with the universe, the vicious drug side effects, the doubt, the tears, the anguish, the countless syringes, vaginal ultraounds, 7 am IUI appointments, painful checks written after a failed cycle, humiliating comments from friends, abdomial bruises, hot flashes, painful proceedures.... it was so worth it. The days of barfing, heartburn, backache, bleeding scares, days of labor, pushing for 13 hours, being cut open... it was so worth it.

This afternoon, as Ruby slept soundly on my bare chest, and I felt her breath fill my soul, i whispered in her ear.... "You were SO worth it all."

I love her so much, I almost can't stand it. She is so perfect, and I made her. She was inside of my body. She is a part of me, and a part of Ryan, and she always will be. We made a person. We have a daughter. We finally did it. We made a family.

So I have one thing to say, to anyone still trying. Don't give up. Just do one more cycle, or call one more adoption agency. Just don't give up. Trust me. Someday your heart will crack wide open, and you'll sit down and write this entry, and it will be so worth it all.

When the world says give up, HOPE whispers... try one more time
When I look at this picture, I know, she was more than worth it. I am so full of love, I feel complete.

2006-07-01T15:13:00.000-07:00

In which she lives up to her name.....

Well three days of antibiotics in the hospital has left it's mark on us. Yesterday we noticed some tiny white bumps on her tongue... ahhhhhh! Thrush! we were already on acidophilus, and we decided to add some Gentian Violet to the mix. Doesn't she look soooo cute? She looks like she's had a few too many purple popsicles, or possibly the Joker. Today the spots are virtually gone... but we'll continue the violet face/boobs for a day or so just to be sure.

hmmmm. What else has she been up to?

Enjoying the new porch swing with daddy

She loves the swing!!

She's been spending tons of time with Nana this week, when she's not sewing stuff!

Nana made us this delicious moby stye wrap...
Here she is with Auntie Jackie, as we head out for a walk around the block. First time mom is going out of the house in a week!

Here's a close up of the name tag Nana made.... for crying out loud, can it be any cuter?

Last we'll leave you with a picture that will melt your heart...

So in love!!

2006-06-30T13:24:00.000-07:00

10 days old... and I have an opinion.

Can the neighbors please STOP mowing the sidewalk? I mean, seriously, folks, I'm 10 days old, and I'm trying to sleep! Stop taking the edger too close to the cement! It's noisy, and it drowns out the lovely chimes on my front porch!!! Sigh, Can't a kid get a break around here? jeeeeeeze!

My friend Megan made me this sweet soaker. Don't I look gorgeous in it!! :D

My great Tia Nancy crocheted me this beautiful blanket.. it's super cozy. and oh so soft! Thank you :D

2006-06-29T18:48:00.000-07:00

9 days old!

Ruby is NINE days old today. Hard to believe she's only been around for NINE days. It feels like she's always been here. Today was a 'rough' day for poor Ruby. Rough meaning she didn't want to be put down, and would wake everytime you moved her. So... she spent a lot of time either in peoples arms, or really close to mama. Not a bad way to spend the day for any of us.

Here she is sleeping on mama.

More time with mama.

Who doesn't love a polka dot burritto??

2006-06-28T12:30:00.000-07:00

Introducing....

Little Ruby Riding Hood!

Introducing.....Can I BE any cuter??? I mean, Seriously? Aunt Mary really did it with this outfit!

Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? Not me?

Last night Ruby had her first bath. We'd planned on giving her a sponge bath then putting some olive oil on her little skin, but then we found out that Ruby doesn't like Belgian Chocolate Pudding. (no, don't be silly, she didn't eat it, I did).... our first projectile vomit! (no I didn't get a picture of that! - if I had stopped to take a picture, I'd win the award for WWM (worlds worst mother) not just be in the running for eating the pudding). We were lying on the couch watching TV for the first time in over a week when.... Warrf! barf everywhere. in the eyes, in the ears, all over Ruby. Of course she didn't even cry. She looked a little shell shocked, but not a whimper. I of course went from lying on the couch to standing up with her in arms in one movement. Not so good on a freshly operated belly. And I'm paying for it today!
So we headed into the bathroom, and filled the sink that Daddy built and put in the baby that Mommy built and this is what we got.....

Yes, bathing a new baby takes 4 hands - well three to hold and clean the baby and one to take a picture.

2006-06-27T17:41:00.000-07:00

Hey world! guess what!

Last night the bellybutton fairy came! she left me this gross stump, a poopie diaper, and what may or may not be an innie! What do you think?

Before sleeps last night (the few we got) Daddy read a book to Ruby. On the day that you were born. Tears were shed all around, I'm pretty sure this book will be used often.

Daddy just can't get enough of the little Rublet. again... who doesn't want to cry looking at this picture!

But with all that pooping, eating, stump losing and reading, there must be lots and lots of this.....
Whew... Time for a nap!!

2006-06-26T18:48:00.000-07:00

Why yes... yes she was.
She was more than worth the wait.

She has long long fingers, has her daddy and mommy wrapped around them.

She's the MOST beautiful baby in the history of the universe. Seriously. She is she really really is.

Of course her coming home outfit was hand knitted. Soaker by the amazing Aunt Mary, sweater/hat/booties combo by mom.

Daddy has already put her to work helping out in the yard.

Her birth wasn't all we had hoped it would be. We had a beautiful labor at home, and then pushed for an excruciating 13 hours before we realized that she just was stuck and not coming out. So... we ended up having a c-section. As sad as we are to not have had our dream home birth, and as difficult as the hospital stay was, she of course was worth every push, and every staple in my belly. It will take a while for us to get over it, but in the mean time... we've got these chubby cheeks to love on and this little feet to snorkel.

Stay tuned for more Ruby. All Ruby, all the time.

2006-06-21T13:12:00.000-07:00

Baby Ruby is finally here!!!

Ruby Rasmussen
Born June 20th, 2006
8lbs, 9oz
19 inches

BEAUTIFUL, Perfect. We are in complete and utter amazement of her. She hasn't been out in the world for 24 hours and it feels like she's always been here. Birth story to follow shortly after mom gets some much needed rest (this post being brought to you by the proud poppa). Just know that this wife of mine is one amazing, strong, courageous woman. How did I get so lucky?!? There aren't words to describe how proud I am of her and how so completely in love I am with her and our sweet little Ruby. The babe doesn't cry much (unless she needs a diaper changed), but even when she does it's one of the sweetest sounds in the world to me. Enjoy the pix.....more to come shortly.

Love,
-K,R&R : )

2006-06-18T12:33:00.000-07:00

41 weeks 3 days...

Still no baby. Fathers day! It was never a big holiday for Ryan growing up, so I'm hoping to give him a good present... but so far, nothing.

Stay tuned. Maybe tomorrow?

2006-06-16T22:10:00.000-07:00

41 weeks 1 day.....

Guest appearance by Mik.

Gosh, I'm freaking huge!

The bed - will the baby be born here?

The bath.... mmmm maybe goonie will be born here!

And of course.. quite possibly, the sweetest picture in the entire universe..... My sister Kasi sent us this book, and Ry has read it to the belly every night since.

Yes... all sigh a collective Awwwwwwwww.

Until tomorrow!

2006-06-16T14:01:00.000-07:00

Still pregnant. Nothing to report. Have made plans to go out to movies tonight (to see An Unfortunate Truth!!) with Ryan. Surely... SURELY that will do it, right?

We shall see folks, we shall see.

Later will post pix of gargantuan belly, birthing suite ( aka my bathroom) and Ryan reading to the belly. Now.. Must sleep.

2006-06-15T18:46:00.000-07:00

41 weeks.

So today we are a week "overdue". I hate this term. Babies are born when they are ready to be born. This '40 weeks for all babes' is really a farce. So... we went to the midwife. All is well. Everything is still perfectly normal. So.... we wait. And we wait. I wish I had something more exciting to tell you, but I don't.....

I hate these boring posts, but I know if I dont' post something everyday, someones gonna wonder, and then the phone starts ringing. So... until tomorrow....

2006-06-14T13:44:00.000-07:00

So for today's entry we'll see who is still in the running for guessing correctly.

We had: 18 boys, 10 girls

9 people haven't passed their date yet. One for today, two for the 15th, two for the 16th, two for the 17th, one for the 18th and one for the 20th.

And of course weight.. but i doubt I'll go back and look at that ;)

Who knows who will be right......

So far.. Nobody. hee hee hee

2006-06-13T15:41:00.000-07:00

It was brought to my attention that the blog wasn't showing up... well it's all fixed now! And... nothing to report. :)

Keep your pants on. This could be a long wait!