Dear Ruby,
Today you are five months old. FIVE MONTHS. For five months you've been living in our house and in our hearts. Wow, what a ride it's been.

This month you've mastered rolling over. You love to roll. You roll when we're changing your diaper, andyou try to roll when you're nursingin bed (oh yeah, I love that one). You get such joy out of getting to your tummy, yet most of the time, when you get there you get irritated and can't figure out how to roll back to your back. Once you get the whole process down, I'm sure you'll be rolling rolling rolling. It's pretty cute. But then again, everything you do is cute.

Your newest thing is needing to be with someone all the time. A month ago, we could change you into pjs, read you a story and then you'd nurse to sleep, only waking up once before I came up to bed. We were able to have a couple of hours of free time each night. Now.... that's not so much the case. You still change into pjs, read a book and nurse to sleep... but I can't seem to get away after that. You wake up every 10 minutes or so and cry out to have someone near you. So.... change of plans, after you're asleep, i go downstairs for as long as I can (usually enough to eat dinner if I haven't already) and then when you call me up, I am in bed with you for the night. At first I thought I'd be bored... but thanks to the magic of wireless internet, a dvd player on my laptop, ABC.com (for greys anatomy of course) and headphones, I'm getting by. I do miss spending time with your dad, but he's still gonna be there in a few weeks when this stage is over (or a few months, what ever you need). He's been there for 10 years, so I dont' think a few weeks/months of not hanging out everynight will kill us. Besides, sometimes he comes up and we watch a movie together on the computer. That's kind of fun. My back aches from sitting in bed for a couple of hours at a time, but it's worth it knowing that when you wake up, you know you're not alone and that I'm here to comfort you and keep you safe. I love when you startle awake, and you look up and see I'm still there, then you just gently drift off to sleep. That contented look on your face makes all of the hard parts easier. It doesn't make my back stop hurting, but it's good medicine.

Your squeal and giggle are becoming more pronounced. You love going for a carwash (where I tickle your face with hair) and a blow dry (when we blow air in your face) and you love playing "love love love, STRETCH! tickle tickle tickle" (I'm trying to get this on video, but it's hard to do when you only have two hands). You get laughing sometimes and it just slays me. You are truly a really happy baby. You smile at just about anyone who you meet, if they smile at you, and you're rarely cranky for no reason. ((Yes, I know how lucky I am)).

You are still a pretty good sleeper at night. You wake up every two hours (occasionally every three) to nurse, but you rarely wake up and need more than that. You go right back to sleep after getting your tum filled, and we all rest relatively peacefully. ((yes, i know how lucky I am)).

You are getting to be pretty good at sitting up on your own, and love doing it! You love sitting in your highchair while we cook dinner or clean the dishes, and like to tell us how to do whatever we're doing. You're quite the chatterbox. It's pretty funny, but then again, I think everything you do is pretty funny.

I can honestly say, that you have changed my life in more ways then I could ever imagine. You've made me happier than I'd ever thought possible, and my heart is full. You are the best medicine, and have helped heal so many old and deep wounds. You are truly an amazing human being. Thank you for coming into my life, and for being my little girl.

All my love, Mama