Sunday, July 02, 2006

There comes a time when all infertiles write this post. now, it's my turn.

After all we've been through, the endless cycles, the blood that came no matter how i pleaded with the universe, the vicious drug side effects, the doubt, the tears, the anguish, the countless syringes, vaginal ultraounds, 7 am IUI appointments, painful checks written after a failed cycle, humiliating comments from friends, abdomial bruises, hot flashes, painful proceedures.... it was so worth it. The days of barfing, heartburn, backache, bleeding scares, days of labor, pushing for 13 hours, being cut open... it was so worth it.

This afternoon, as Ruby slept soundly on my bare chest, and I felt her breath fill my soul, i whispered in her ear.... "You were SO worth it all."

I love her so much, I almost can't stand it. She is so perfect, and I made her. She was inside of my body. She is a part of me, and a part of Ryan, and she always will be. We made a person. We have a daughter. We finally did it. We made a family.

So I have one thing to say, to anyone still trying. Don't give up. Just do one more cycle, or call one more adoption agency. Just don't give up. Trust me. Someday your heart will crack wide open, and you'll sit down and write this entry, and it will be so worth it all.

When the world says give up, HOPE whispers... try one more time
When I look at this picture, I know, she was more than worth it. I am so full of love, I feel complete.


Anonymous said...

that was one of the most beautiful things I have ever read. I understand what you have gone through. I to have walked down that road. My little miracle is now 4. I to look at him and tell him he was worth the wait. what a wonderful family you have. Thank you for posting this.

Christi aka ryansmom02 (mdc)

Lexie said...

Yup. I can totally relate to that, too.

rach said...


Alexandria said...

Okay, there are tears running down my face right now. And it's not about having a child, since I'll never have that experience. Thanks so much for sharing that moment with all of us. Spoken directly from the heart!


Heather said...

That picture just melts my heart!!